the in betweens

i was always a believer of tue love. the love you see in korean movies. in chick flicks.

and maybe because i came from a family full of love, i grew up knowing i'd find my true love in an instant..i was looking for the right kind of love, not the experience...

and when the time finally came, i thought it was for real. i immediately thought it would never be better. after the stupidity, the fidelity and loyalty, i had my first heart ache. i never thought an incident could cause your chest to be so tight. waking up and feeling that heavy feeling is and always the worst feeling in the morning. i said to myself, i don't want any of that anymore.

the heart ache left me feeling miserable. it made me feel so ugly. it left me feeling worthless.

there's nothing more pathetic than waking up thinking no one's out there wishing i was with them.

most of the time i found myself walking alone and thinking why i was that way? i decided i was going to live the life.

the next thing i knew, i was in a dance club dancing the night all the way. i remembered i never got tired. it was the first time. i fell in and out of love with every boy that came my way.. and as always, none of them wanted to stay...

then i met the perfect guy. or i thought he was.

maybe it was because of all the pain from the past that made me want to nail him down. and make him mine.

i told myself i don't want to let this go without giving a fight.

and so i thought i could make him want to stay...

and he did. for a year and 3 months.

the aftermath of my fidelty was painful.

i was not rejected of my happily ever after once or twice.

i'm starting to accept that i'd never get my happy ending nor my true love...

i still belive there's a better life waiting for me...

for the mean time i don't want to look too much forward.

im going to take one day at a time...

and feel less hurt..

there is life after the heartache. just thought you should know..:)